“When my husband died, his brother took me as his second wife. You know that I have older daughters. It wouldn’t be good for me to marry someone outside of the family.” I was reminded of the story of Tamar (Genesis) and the expectation that one of her husband’s brothers would marry her. It made me think through what life would have been like for Leah or Hagar or Abigail…or any of the several in Scripture who were one of multiple wives.
I only met the husband once briefly . She usually arranged for us to get together for tea when he was at the other wife’s home. The day he was there, I was amazed at her thoughtfulness and patience. He preferred coffee to the tea that was offered; the plate that the cookies were on was not the one he would have chosen. She quietly rearranged the afternoon tray without complaint. Later she told me, “His other wife often speaks of the difficult things so I have chosen to make this a place he can rest.” Of course, the difficult things usually have nothing to do with afternoon tea. Her husband tries to give his time equally to both, spending every other day with each wife. He is quite conservative, and unlike his brother (her first husband) doesn’t approve of her going out. Although she is over 40, he wanted children and they now have a beautiful son, but the other wife doesn’t know that there is one who will share in the inheritance. The two wives live in completely separate parts of town.
Culturally, there is so much that I don’t understand. As a woman, the pressures that I imagine she faces are probably the same across any cultural lines. *Pray that she and the many others like her would know that they are treasured in the eyes of Jesus. *Pray that they would recognize the depth of Jesus’ love that took Him to the cross. *Pray that she, and all of us, would realize that our value is not based on comparison or performance. May we all believe the gospel of grace!
